Mind and Heart; Reality and Faith

Coming back from my weekend vacation in San Diego tonight I was reading "Fahrenheit 451" (which is a very good book I might add). It sparked thought of the relationship between imagination, hope, reality, and dreams and reminded of a previous experience on the plane about a year ago. Flying south to Palm Springs a little over a year ago I gazed out my window, absorbing the beauty this earth so modestly yet brilliantly boasts of. As we glided above the clouds with a clear view of the sunset rising in the east, I swore to myself that straight ahead, mounted among clouds, was heaven. In fact, I was somewhat dumbfounded and excited that I was witnessing the physical entity of God's Kingdom. Lost in my spiritual beliefs at that time, I felt my faith soar as I simply learned that I believed. I had such confidence in this physical being outside my window, and regardless of the fact that about two minutes later my imagination was brought into reality when, "to your left you will see the top of Mt. Baker" came over the intercom, I still felt the power of God's message and presence. The message became a bit clearer tonight when God showed me that faith and reality don't necessarily have to be separate beings. They correspond to make faith even stronger, and reality more real.

Weekend Jibberish

Wow. I've been on a roll recently. Actually I'm just wasting the next few minutes before I ride my bike to work and start my day (sad, I know considering its about 12:30 already). Oh, I'm so excited, because I am going to get my eyebrows waxed, which is WAY overdue. Not to mention that UW liked my application to become a summer peer advisor and has asked me back for an interview. I am completely unmotivated to go to class right now, considering I'm not going to get to take my next two midterms anyway. I'm going to San Diego with my Dad next friday, and both classes that I have midterms in let you drop your lowest score. Unfortunate that that has to be a big "0", but I guess its nice not having to have stress come out of my butt for the 2 weeks preceding them.

Canada tonight with Adam, Kayla, and Ian. Good times. This wil be the second time I have gone up since I've turned 19. Don't worry, I'm keeping in tide with my lent promise. I'm gonna be a nerd and pack food for myself so that I don't have to spend any money. Loser? Yes. Awesome? Yes. Hahaha. Anyway, the weekend is upon us and my bike awaits. Adios for now! Ayayayayay!

Taking Action

In response to my last post in addition to the fact that Lent has just dawned upon us, I thought that it would be a great time to start taking action against my self-distain. Many of you know that it is a common practice to give something up for lent (sometimes take something on) to better ones self. I have decided this lent to give up anything excess. This includes eating out, buying unnecessary items for myself (such as clothes), and so on. I am taking the money that would have gone to my thoughtlessly self-indulgence and giving it to some one who needs it. I havn't thus far decided who or what cause I would be giving it to, but that decision doesn't necisarrily have to be made just yet. If your wondering how I would go about determining how much money I theoretically would have spent, I am comparing my budget/bills from last month and taking the difference as money saved.

I post this for you all to read in hope that you will challenge yourself this Lent to better yourself and maybe even better society for a mere 40 days (February 9 - March 27 not including Sundays). I urge you to take this challenge even if you don't celebrate this christian tradition as a self test and sacrifice. After all... you never know what you will get out of it and learn about yourself.

Oh yeah. And tomorrow Billy turns the big 2-0, so if you know him be sure to wish him a happy birthday!!!

Materialistic Selfishness

God am I lucky to have such an amazingly compassionate and grounded boyfriend. I wish I could see the world as he does every day, and I feel so selfish not doing so. I feel caught in the middle. Between wanting to give money to the needy and worrying about not having enough for my own expenses, between volunteering my time and renting it out for pay. It’s so easy to say that I want to get out of this materialistic culture and country, but the truth is that I desperately need a break from my materialistic mindset. It’s so easy to make excuses as to why I think this way, to psychologically dig in to my state of mind. I claim that it stems from the feeling of being ‘poor’ all of my life, regardless of how relatively untrue that is. I’m in the mindset of “I want to, but can’t afford to.” I know that that will soon turn into a careless and selfish “I don’t feel like it right now.” I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be another hypocritical Christian, a title that Adam disallows himself to be under. He doesn’t want to sit back and take the glory of the title; he wants to take action and do, as he believes Jesus did and wants us to do.

Adam inspires me, but I feel like it won’t be long until I fall back into the sad mindset of “When can I afford to take time out? What can I afford to give?” My pitiful thoughts remind me that all that I have, I have been blessed with by God. God has given me everything, and I am so lucky to have what I have. I am not in poverty. I am not starving. I am not homeless. I have an education. I have a family that loves me so much and has been so amazing to me. I have absolutely amazing friends.

Life is such a big test of “What will you chose to do with what God has given you?” And now I feel like the Bible screams to us, aching for us to get it! It screams it in the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:12-30), in the story about the poor widow’s offering (Mark 12: 41-44), and the countless times that Jesus says, “Many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first” (Matthew 19:30). So the question remains: what will I choose to do with what God has given me? Will I “Invest or squander” my time as Chris Rice sings? How will I repent from this selfishness? Lord, help me!