Movie Recommendation

"Lord, Save us from Your Followers"

A well balanced look at the clash of Christianity and Culture today, which encourages us to stop arguing and start conversing. To stop judging and start loving for no other reason than because we are all in the same boat.

Netflix has it on instant watch at the moment, so get it while it's hot!

March 30, 2009

I wrote this poem over a year ago and just found it in the back of an old journal.


I'm still waiting, God
for your clarity
For your life-giving source to
lay bare to me
For time and time again I try and fail
to see the depths of your strength prevail
It's not you I seem to see,
It's me, disillusioned
thinking it's all about me.

But try I do, and fail I will
yet you will stand, a chief to hail,
To bow, to sigh, to curl up nigh
You are there to listen to me
as I sit and wait in agony.
"I'm here, Lord! Fill me full!" say I in truth-
and truth be told,
"Fill me, fill me, evermore!"
I sing, I cry, I longingly implore

But try I do and fail I will
And you will be there to raise me up,
To lift me in my weakness still
To bringing justice, a foolishness it seems.
Yet you, the God of mercy.
the God of glory.
the God of weakness.
and the God of Love.
Sitting there on throne, smiling from Above.

Running Thoughts

Just as soon as one moment can occur, another moment can occur.

Just as soon as one moment can occur, it can die.

We have choices in each moment. To choose one thing over the other. Most of the time we're tied to the illusion that we are obliged to someone or something- or really just tied to an illusion in itself. But in reality, each moment is an opportunity for something bigger than a person's obligation to anyone or anything or any illusion of what is, was, or could be.

Each of us has more opportunities than we often like to think we're responsible for to create. And it IS scary when we look at our power in the face. When we see it's potential for anything under the sun. But I also recognize that in each moment I/we have the opportunity to create something bigger than our selfish desires. We have the opportunity to Love. Unconditionally.

This has been something on my mind for a while. Something I've given great heed to. Something I've put a lot of pressure on-- perhaps too much pressure. Because I am increasingly aware of the power of my choices. How they affect me, how they affect others. And there is no way skirting around this. My choices- IN EACH AND EVERY MOMENT- have consequences. It's hard to let go of the instinct, the urge to make a selfish choice, simply because it's familiar, or because it serves the ego that I've fed for so long. I wonder if I get out of my head so much- and stop judging myself for every choice I make- if I'll be able to sit at peace with my broken self and allow myself to listen to the voice that I know to be true and life-giving. If I'll finally allow myself to move forward. Step by tiny step. Out of fear of the great unknown and into trust that all will be well- including the creation I was made so beautifully to be.

Whoever you are, I ask for your prayers as I journey. Out of the illusions and images I have created for myself and others and into peace in letting go. Letting go. I ask for prayers that I might be increasingly aware that my breath is my reminder that I am here NOW. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, not 2 minutes from now. Because my heart can only beat with the pulse that God has provided in the moment that I am living.

A few things I love:

1. Indiana license plates (not joking; of all 50, its by far my fave)
2. Sarah Silverman's humor
3. Trashy electronic pop songs (i.e. Tik Tok, Party in the USA) and legitimately dancing to them in my car... alone or with company
4. Sunny days
5. The fact that you (yes, YOU!) have complete control over what picture comes up on my phone when you call me. Just change your gmail profile picture and Voa-la!